Team villains except me

Chapter 456 screwed up

Yalinxiu, who Elliott has high hopes for, is now negotiating with Valeri.

Loretta was already asleep, with tear stains on her face from her earlier argument with Valerie.

After returning to the manor, Valerie first took Yalinxiu to the room she had prepared. She saw that Yalinxiu was tired and sleepy. She covered Yalinxiu with a quilt very considerately, and then asked it if it was afraid of sleeping and whether it needed company...

Yalinxiu looked at her, shook her head obediently, then sat up rubbing her eyes after Valerie gently closed the door.

She had some doubts about the incident that happened that night. Loretta was looking forward to the contact with Teacher Musa, but this expectation turned into restraint after meeting Valerie.

Is Loretta's neurosis related to Valerie? During the absence of Teacher Musa, it was Valerie who accompanied Loretta. Did Valerie cause the alienation between Loretta and Teacher Musa?

It gently opened the door and slowly walked to Loretta's room. The room was well soundproofed, and Yalinxiu could only hear the conversation between Loretta and Valerie by sticking to the wall.

"…I thought you hated Musa."

"correct."

"Loretta, I watched you grow up."

"So what? Do you know me well?"

"Of course!... No. I thought I knew you, but now, I'm not so sure."

……

Valerie once told Musa with certainty that "Loretta is very resistant to you."

That's perfectly normal.

When she was rescued by Musa and left with Loretta, she was still young and angry, betrayed by her family, and almost suffocated by countless rules. She was sent to marry like a commodity, as if her independent and free life before was a dream that could not withstand careful consideration.

Of course, she could empathize with Loretta at that time. She drove away the spies around Loretta and the teachers who would have a bad influence on Loretta.

She returned the favor she owed to Musa to Loretta. She taught Loretta to see the world more comprehensively, and she understood why Loretta hated Musa.

Musa hated Lanier. How could Musa like this birdcage that couldn't fly? If her mother and daughter weren't still here, she would definitely fly far away, to the sky where no eagle tribe could catch up.

So Musa didn't have much time to return to Lanier. During Musa's absence, all the malice was directed at Loretta, openly or covertly.

Loretta is a tool for all the forces to play games. The king regards Loretta as a weak point to restrain Musa, Musa's ex-husband regards Loretta as a cash cow, and the "anti-fly ban" thinks Loretta is a burden to Musa and wishes she would disappear.

The male eagles think that Loretta has a mother who makes them fear and despise. The traditional female eagles think that Loretta is as rebellious as her mother. The female eagles who want to change the status quo think that Loretta stands on the side of the king and is a hedonistic traitor.

But in reality, Loretta is just a child. Among the male eagle and the female eagle, she is the female eagle; among the adult and the child, she is the child; among the mother and the daughter, she is the daughter.

Valerie couldn't protect Loretta. Loretta was involved in so many things that sometimes even Musa couldn't do anything. So Valerie didn't force Loretta to love Musa without reservation. She felt that Loretta's disgust and resentment were understandable.

Although it was Musa who saved her, for a long time, in this dark and damp country, in the luxurious but desolate and lonely manor, she and Loretta spent most of their time together.

She favored Loretta. She could not protect Loretta, she could not refuse the king's summons to Loretta, she could not stop Loretta from living with Musa's ex-husband Fletcher for two days every month, and she could give Loretta very little.

She wanted Loretta to have the power to love and hate, especially hate. Everyone told Loretta to love her mother, her future husband and children, the country and the king. They regarded her hatred as a kind of rebellion and resistance, as a bud that needed to be nipped in the bud.

Valerie protects Loretta's only freedom. She doesn't think it's wrong for Loretta to hate Musa, she thinks love is disgusting.

Her father loved her mother, but he returned to Lanier, causing her mother to lose her dignity. Her mother loved her, but she eventually forced her to marry the Eagle tribe, whom she did not love. Her nominal husband said he loved her, but after learning that she had run away from the marriage, he did everything he could to hunt her down.

If this was love, then she wanted Loretta to hate everyone.

So she never forced Loretta to love anyone. Between Musa and Loretta, she always chose to let Musa obey Loretta's wishes.

But now she realized that maybe Loretta didn't really hate Musa.

Loretta's botched falls had happened so many times tonight. She didn't miss Musa's surprise and Loretta's softening attitude.

She suddenly felt a sense of panic.

If Loretta…doesn’t hate Musa, then has she been misleading Loretta all along?

After settling the children from outside, Valerie found Loretta and asked for her opinion seriously.

She hadn't communicated with Loretta like this for a long time. She had a lot of things to do, Loretta had to go to school during the day and do homework when she came back at night, and the communication between them was very rare, mostly about daily trivial matters.

She doesn’t know now how long Loretta’s wings are, or how high Loretta can fly - when Loretta was a child, she gave Loretta all the freedom, she let Loretta fly freely, and she recorded Loretta’s body changes... She is a responsible parent.

"Valerie, you're boring."

Loretta spoke stiffly, her face pale.

Valerie sighed softly. Loretta refused to talk about this topic, and she resisted her question in this way.

Valerie looked at Loretta and found that during the time she was busy, Loretta had grown taller. Although she looked particularly thin due to an illness, her eyes were firm and burning with passion, just like her impression of Musa.

She had a vague idea of ​​what to ask. She knew what was wrong…she knew why Loretta was like this.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Loretta, you shouldn't hate Loretta. You hate her because you don't understand her."

This was the first time she had said this to Loretta, but she probably knew that Loretta had probably heard it many times before.

Sure enough, Loretta's reaction was intense.

"Why don't I understand her?"

Loretta asked sarcastically, her eyes shining as if covered with tears.

Valerie was silent for a moment, then she spoke.

"You spend too little time together. There is so much distance between you. You are never willing to open your hearts and have a good chat. Between you lies conspiracy, power struggle and unspeakable guilt."

"I am oblivious!"

Loretta's tears fell.

"That's all you can say. You don't understand anything. You say that too! How can you say that? You know nothing. You're just like them...."

"no."

Valerie repeated.

"No. I never wanted to persuade you, I..."

"You want me to hate Musa."

Loretta was eerily calm. She stared at Valerie.

"Your organization, against the flight ban, they want me to hate Musa."

"...Loretta, they want you to love Musa, because if Musa has nothing to hold on to, she will leave. Lanier needs an outstanding female eagle, a benchmark. They want you to love Musa and keep Musa. The task they gave me was to let you keep Musa, but I never did it.

I want you to be free to love or hate whoever you want. I thought you really hated Musa, and I wanted you to be happy. "

Valerie's bitterness was like a withered iris in her words. Her voice trembled slightly. The misplaced understanding hurt both Musa and Loretta. She was like a ruthless executioner in this relationship.

However, the real source of the error will never reflect on itself. Only sensitive and kind people torture themselves by reviewing their mistakes in intense guilt.

Loretta was stunned.

She thought... she thought Valerie was carrying out her mission, and Valerie didn't want her to love Musa because she was a burden to Musa.

She cooperated to show her hatred for Musa - of course, she also hated Musa, but she only hated a part of Musa, instead of rejecting Musa completely. She knew that the "Anti-Flying Ban" was a good organization, and Valerie was the family who took care of her growing up.

She tried her best to show her dislike for Musa, but despite this, there were always people telling her that she should not feel resentful. Even though she was a burden to Musa, she should still be grateful to Musa and accept her love meekly.

Since it is impossible to meet everyone's expectations, let everyone be disappointed.

But, if what Valerie said was true, then she could have told her about her doubts. She could have faced Musa with a more open attitude. She wouldn't have to struggle alone in silence... She wouldn't have to suffer for so long.

Loretta bit her lip and tears fell one by one.

"You never told me - many eagles told me not to blame Musa, but to love Musa, using those pale and thin words. But I don't understand. What is love, how to love her, I never understood, I never felt it. Every time I saw her, I felt like my heart was being cut by a knife. She was so tired, as if I was a burden to her."

Valerie felt heartbroken at this moment.

She didn't know how to explain it, she avoided the definition of love because she didn't understand it either, she didn't know at what level her attitude affected Loretta. She bore the pressure of the organization, rejected the organization's tasks, and just wanted Loretta to have a relatively free childhood.

She still screwed up.

Valerie raised her sleeve to wipe Loretta's tears, her voice low, like the sound of flapping wings.

"Loretta, you are not a burden to Musa. She wouldn't see it that way."

"She wouldn't think so..."

Loretta murmured, she clenched her fists tightly, her heart was like a branding iron, burning hotter and hotter.

Loretta exploded.

"But I know her. You don't understand. She is my mother. I love her. She is the only thing I own completely. I understand her. I desire her. I understand her ideals and aspirations. I know all her heroic deeds. In this world, only she and I are forever firmly and inseparable. I will never betray her. I love her with all my strength, with my remaining reason and all my blood.

I helped her.

But I am a burden to her. No matter how you look at it, I am a burden to her. She also thinks so, but she accepts it. But I don’t accept it. ”

Loretta gritted her teeth, her expression frighteningly cold.

“At Lanier, all the education I was exposed to was making me dull and numb, but I was desperately trying to understand the world, desperately trying to grow up, and make myself look more mature and reliable.

I don't want to be a burden to her, I don't want to become a condition that restrains her. If I am a piece of iron that weighs her down, I will fall down by myself, or I will fly up with her. But there can't be any chain between us. Therefore, I hate her, and I hate this country even more. I hate all the constraints and punishments on me and her.

It's not that I don't hate her. It's just that at the same time I can't help but love her.

I can't help it. I tried many things, but, Valerie...

She is my mother.”

By the end, Loretta could no longer hold back her tears, and her repressed emotions and awkward feelings were released at this moment. She was isolated and told herself to protect her mother, but her strength was so weak that she could only show her persistence by hurting herself and refusing to care.

She tried her best to grow up, but the price of growing up was the loss of innocent happiness. She didn't care, she wanted to let her mother return to the sky.

No one understood, no one understood. Everyone wanted to get what they wanted from her, and she thought even Valerie was like this, so she didn't trust anyone.

But when facing Musa, she always has a hard time saying anything. She has said she hates Musa countless times, ignoring Musa's hurt and disappointment. She bears as much as Musa.

She couldn't bear it any longer, so her pain came on violently.

At this moment, she poured out all her emotions, but her body did not immediately relax, but felt extremely weak. The arrival of sleepiness was like a robbery, and before she closed her eyes, she only had time to tell the tearful Valerie not to tell Musa about this.

She knew her mother. She knew that once Musa knew everything, Musa would be trapped because of her. She didn't want that.

Loretta closed her eyes. Valerie nervously went forward to check if there was anything wrong with her body. After confirming that Loretta was just asleep, Valerie gently picked Loretta up and put her on the bed, preparing to wipe the tears from her face with a warm handkerchief.

At this time, Valerie, who had calmed down, heard a noise outside the door.

Valerie paused.

She walked over quickly and opened the door. She prepared for the worst, but after looking around, she lowered her head and saw Yalinxiu, who should have been sleeping in the room.